Unloved
It eats my insides this terrible curse
the need to write
but I can’t bring out verse
I try to string words like a cartier strings jewels
but find my pen caught like barbed wire on wool
I run through a field in my mind’s eye and hope that my words will fall from the sky
drenching me, drowning in lovers’ despair
riding on the glory of a rhyming pair
I want to write chaos and beauty and love
but the words won’t rain down from heaven above
I look to my idols, but they turn away from me
I look to myself, but find I can’t see
There’s an emptiness inside and from nothing I can’t write
I try to build a new me, but it’s a losing fight
each hair, each whisper, each piece I place
disappears into the nothing that I find I can’t place
I stand here alone naked to see
I search through the ether, but I’m too lost to see
A beacon unentity alone in a sea
I draw nothing to me and nothing repels
there’s no wind no sunlight, no waves and no swells
In stillness I try to watch the tide come for me
but though I watch daily there’s no stir in the sea
The world ancient and beautiful recedes from my sight
I try to keep hold of it, but my grip is not tight
Life slips through my fingers like sand out of time
just one thing around me, the end of all time
so I stand tall and proud, though I’m frightened as hell
I look out at nothing and there’s nothing to tell
My pen falls so slowly from the hand it once loved
And a boy who never understood, stands dying, unloved